Hot Takes with Ayra and Khloe (Audio)
Transcript:
GOVIL: Hello, my name is Ayra.
NGUYEN: And my name is Khloe.
BOTH: Welcome to our podcast episode!
GOVIL: Today, we’re diving into four hot takes—big debates, big opinions, and hopefully, no actual fights.
NGUYEN: Hopefully. But we’re tackling some tricky ones today. Our first topic: Should you know what you want in life?
GOVIL: Great question! I think knowing what you want in life helps you focus your energy, time, and resources on meaningful goals. It keeps you from spreading yourself too thin or wasting years trying to figure it all out.
NGUYEN: I hear you, but if you think you know what you want too early, you might be closing yourself off from something even better. What if your true passion is something you haven’t even discovered yet? You won’t know if there is something else that could interest you in and pique your interest more because you won't ever get to explore that if you're too stuck on a certain career path.
GOVIL: I get that, but wouldn’t having a goal make you more competitive? If you’ve known for years what you wanted to do, you’re way ahead of someone just figuring it out. You’ve already built skills, connections, and experience while they’re still testing the waters. Knowing what you want, makes you more competitive and more focused on your end goal and being more successful in the future. You'll be able to prepare yourself for opportunities and because you know what you want you know you have a direction that you know you wanna go in a field. It helps with long-term success and ensures your financial stability in the future..
NGUYEN: Sure, but life is unpredictable! What if you’ve spent years preparing for one career, and then boom, you hate it? Or if you have such a direct goal and set way that you wanna go, it doesn't embrace flexibility? If you’re too rigid in your path, adapting becomes so much harder.
GOVIL: Fair point. But knowing your path also gives you resilience. If times get tough, you have a reason to push through. If you’re just aimlessly exploring, you might give up too easily because there’s nothing solid keeping you going. If you don't know what you want, when times are tough, you're more likely to give up because it's not something you are passionate about and a field you are not genuinely interested in pushing forward with.
NGUYEN: But if you’re too locked into a path you picked at 16, are you really choosing it? Or are you just stuck in it?If you never step back to explore,you don't really know what your authentic self really wants you might be forcing yourself into something that doesn’t actually make you happy, and pushing for something that you don't actually want.. can be really exhausting.
GOVIL: Okay, but having clarity makes decision-making way easier. Less stress, less second-guessing. You’re not constantly wondering, “What if?” because you already know where you’re headed. A clear goal gives you a sense of direction and control which can boost self-confidence and help with your mental health. You're not stressed about all the different things that you have put focus on and trying to find out what you truly want. You don't have to be stressed out about having to choose from something if you know what you want and it's easier to focus, which leads to better success.
NGUYEN: But that can also make you too stubborn. Like, what if a new opportunity comes along and you don’t even consider it because it’s not in your “plan”? Being open-minded makes you more adaptable and confident in uncertain situations. Learning to be comfortable with not knowing what's next is making you more resilient and confident which is where confidence can be built when you explore other options rather just then just having your set career pathway and embodying those traits within it
GOVIL: There's a lot of different stances, knowing whether you should know what you want in life or if you don't have to know what you want but both have their pros and cons. It's equally important to be confident. So maybe the key is balance? It’s important to have a goal, but also to be flexible enough to adjust when needed.
NGUYEN: Exactly. Know something about what you want, but don’t be afraid to change your mind. Growth is key. But anyways, we could go on forever, but we’ve got three more big topics to hit. Next up one of love's biggest dilemmas: Do you have to love yourself before you can love someone else? And if true love means loving someone more than yourself isn’t that a contradiction?
GOVIL: That's so contradictory! Like which one is it?!
NGUYEN: Right?! Because if you have to love yourself first, how can you also love someone more than yourself? It’s a contradiction.
GOVIL: Let’s start with the first part, Do you really need to love yourself before loving someone else? Society pushes this idea, but does it actually hold up?
NGUYEN: I think it makes some sense. If you don’t love yourself, you might look for validation in other people instead of finding confidence within. That can lead to unhealthy relationships where you're dependent on someone else to feel worthy.
GOVIL: It’s like, if you don’t value yourself, how do you know if the love you’re giving or receiving is genuine? You could just be settling for anything that makes you feel less alone.
NGUYEN: Exactly! And that’s how people end up in toxic situations because they don’t think they deserve better.
GOVIL: But here’s the other side, what if loving others is actually how some people learn to love themselves?
NGUYEN: Ooooh, interesting take.
GOVIL: Think about it, some people only realize their worth through love. Like, they see how much someone else values them, and that helps them believe in their own value.
NGUYEN: So you’re saying self-love can come after loving someone else?
GOVIL: For some people, yeah. Not everyone learns self-worth in isolation. Some people need that external validation first before they can internalize it.
NGUYEN: But isn’t that dangerous? If your self-worth depends on someone else, doesn’t that mean you lose yourself if they leave?
GOVIL: That’s the risk. And that brings us to the next point, Can you love someone more than you love yourself without losing yourself?
NGUYEN: Oof. That’s a deep one. Society makes self-sacrificial love sound romantic, but where’s the line between love and self-neglect?
GOVIL: Right? People say true love is about putting someone else’s needs above your own, but if you do that too much, aren’t you just disappearing?
NGUYEN: That’s what I don’t get. If you love someone more than yourself, what happens to your needs, your boundaries? It’s like you become secondary in your own life.
GOVIL: And that’s when it gets unhealthy. Love should be balanced, you care for them, but not at the cost of you.
NGUYEN: But some people argue that love isn’t about balance. Parents, for example, put their kids first all the time. Does that mean they love their kids too much?
GOVIL: That’s a great point. A lot of love, especially in family dynamics, is about sacrifice. But I think the difference is choice. If you choose to put someone first because it’s meaningful to you, that’s healthy. But if you feel like you have to in order to be loved, that’s unhealthy.
NGUYEN: So the key is whether the sacrifice is voluntary or not?
GOVIL: Yes! When you love someone more than yourself in a healthy way, you’re not erasing yourself, you’re making a conscious choice to care for them, while still valuing yourself.
NGUYEN: That makes sense. It wanted to bring up a last point, how does society shape our views on self-love and love for others?
GOVIL: This is HUGE. Society is constantly sending mixed messages. On one hand, we hear "put yourself first," "self-care," "self-love." But at the same time, we hear, "Love is sacrifice," "Real love is putting them before yourself."
NGUYEN: YES! And let’s not forget gender roles in this conversation. Women, especially, are taught to be nurturing, to put others first, to be selfless. Meanwhile, men are encouraged to be independent and "put themselves first."
GOVIL: That’s so true. It’s like women are expected to prove love through giving, while men are expected to prove love through protecting.
NGUYEN: Which is crazy, because both genders should be allowed to have boundaries and love deeply.
GOVIL: Exactly! And then social media makes it worse, because we see all these aesthetic versions of love, where it’s either "totally selfless" or "hyper-independent." There’s no in-between.
NGUYEN: So true. You either get the "give them your whole world" narrative or the "you don’t need anyone" narrative. Where’s the middle ground?!
GOVIL: I think that’s our takeaway: real love is about balance. You should love yourself enough to have self-respect, but also love others enough to care deeply.
NGUYEN: True!. It’s not about choosing between yourself and others—it’s about valuing both equally.
GOVIL: So, next time someone tells you, “You have to love yourself first” or “True love is self-sacrificing,” just remember, it’s both.
NGUYEN: Love yourself and love others. But don’t lose yourself in the process.
GOVIL: Great way to put it Khloe! Next up let’s talk about the importance of emotional intelligence!
NGUYEN: This one is huge. Emotional intelligence affects everything—relationships, work, leadership. Ayra, how would you define it?
GOVIL: I’d say emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It plays a vital role in how to navigate social situations, make decisions, and achieve success in different environments. And honestly? It’s probably more important than IQ in a lot of situations.
NGUYEN: Agreed. It helps in so many ways. Like, if you’re emotionally intelligent, you handle stress way better. Instead of reacting impulsively, you process situations rationally. Additionally, being emotionally intelligent allows us to manage emotions and think clearly under pressure. Our decisions are more rational and thought out, rather than impulsive and possibly harmful.
GOVIL: Yes! And it helps with conflict resolution, too. Instead of screaming at someone, or, you know, sending a rage text, you step back, consider their perspective, and respond with actual understanding. Being respectful to others opinions and peacefully resolving a conflict shows you as the bigger person, rather than escalating it further.
NGUYEN: Emotional intelligence also makes great leaders. The best leaders aren’t just the smartest people in the room, they’re the ones who understand and motivate their team. Learning emotional intelligence helps us express ourselves clearly and listen actively, ensuring effective communication with peers or friends. It helps in building proper relationships that last long, which is tremendously beneficial for our mental health.
GOVIL: Ooooh, speaking of emotions, this also ties into mental health. When you understand why you feel a certain way, you can control it better instead of letting it consume you. Mental health is so important, and practicing being emotionally intelligent helps us understand our emotions and its impact on our behaviors. This promotes self awareness that drives personal growth and helps identify areas for improvement.
NGUYEN: And communication! People with high emotional intelligence express themselves clearly and listen actively. No miscommunication, no unnecessary drama.
GOVIL: Okay, but let’s be real, how do you build emotional intelligence? Because some people seriously lack it.
NGUYEN: Step one, self-awareness. Pay attention to why you feel certain emotions. Don’t just react, ask yourself, what triggered this?
GOVIL: Step two, empathy. Instead of assuming people are just “being difficult,” try to understand where they’re coming from.
NGUYEN: And step three, emotional regulation. Take a second before reacting. Pause, breathe, then respond.
GOVIL: If more people had emotional intelligence, the world would have way fewer arguments.
NGUYEN: And probably fewer rage posts.
GOVIL: Definitely. Alright, time for our final hot take: public vs. private school.
NGUYEN: Love this one. And we’ve got both perspectives: Ayra went to public school for years before switching to private, and I’ve been in private school my whole life. So, Ayra, what are the biggest differences?
GOVIL: Public schools cater to everyone, more diverse cultures, backgrounds, and experiences. There are always students of diverse culture and background, which provide completely unique social experiences. Public schools, because of their sheer school size, often offer a wide range of extracurricular activities and special programs, such as sports, arts, and extracurriculars like HOSA and DECA. Additionally, they are held to state and federal standards, which can ensure a certain level of quality in education. What would you say are some things you've noticed with private school education?
NGUYEN: One thing I’ve noticed is that private schools tend to offer more specialized programs, like religious education or advanced academics, which can make the academic environment more intense. Since private schools charge tuition, they also tend to have better facilities, newer technology, and more extracurricular options. The smaller class sizes can create a really close-knit community, where students build strong relationships with teachers and classmates, making it feel more like a family. Plus, private schools usually offer a lot of support for college applications, from essays to picking the right school.
GOVIL: True, but public school also prepares you for real-world diversity. You’re surrounded by people from all walks of life, which can make you more adaptable.
NGUYEN:But, Private school helps with so many aspects from essays, to picking the right school. And with strong alumni networks, students can get access to internships, college recommendations, and even job opportunities down the road.
GOVIL: That’s true, but private schools can also be very expensive, and not everyone can afford that. Public schools are more accessible.
NGUYEN: But at the same time, public schools, especially underfunded ones, might not offer as many opportunities or resources. Some families choose private schools because they feel it’s safer for their kid or offers better academic rigor.
GOVIL: That makes sense. But public schools also allow for more independence—you learn how to navigate different types of people, and it can help build resilience. But there is always the risk of running with the wrong crowd, surrounded by people who aren't the right influence on you.
NGUYEN: So, what’s the verdict?
GOVIL: Honestly? Both have their pros and cons. The right choice depends on what works best for a family and a student’s goals.
NGUYEN: Agreed. It’s about fit, not just the label.
GOVIL: Wiag, that was a lot of hot takes. But I think we broke them down pretty well.
NGUYEN: Agreed. So, should you know what you want in life? Maybe. Should you have emotional intelligence? Absolutely. And is one type of school better than the other? Depends. Should there be a balance between self love and giving love to someone else? 100 percent.
GOVIL: Well said. Thank you all for tuning in to our podcast!
BOTH: Until next time!