The History of the ‘Nice Guy’ Trope

So what is the “Nice Guy” trope? “Not to be confused with a nice guy—a male that is nice— the term ‘Nice Guy’ refers to people who believe basic social expectations are a currency for sex.” This is how Urban Dictionary defines the trope. At first, “Nice Guy” was praised by the public for being different and considerate of the women they pursued, being the opposites of the “Bad Boy” concept. This seems to be where the phrase “Nice guys always finish last” comes from. Their female pursuits fall for the “Bad Boy” while the “Nice Guy” is left behind. However, over time people have begun to see the toxicity behind this trope. Characters once loved for their chivalry are now hated by the public. Ted Mobsy from “How I Met Your Mother”, Ross Geller from “Friends”, and Dawson Leery from “Dawson’s Creek” are all examples of once loved nice guys, now considered toxic. 

The Netflix TV show “You” is a prominent example of the “Nice Guy” trope dismantled. The show asks the question, “What would you do for love?” The story begins with the manager of a bookstore and a writer. The bookstore manager is instantly attracted to her and stalks her on the internet. He then decides to eliminate every hurdle including people from her life. This story shows how the “Nice Guy” concept has evolved overtime. We no longer see the “Nice guy” portrayed as genuinely nice guys; we now see them for what they truly are — manipulators, gaslighters, abusers, etc. Another movie where this trope is subverted is in “Promising Young Woman,” that shows us that not everything is as it seems. The movie casts men and even women who have always been seen as kind-hearted and successful people as the abusers and manipulators. For example, Bo Burnham, Sam Richardson, and Alison Brie all of which have acted as innocent characters loved by the public. 

College lecturer and couple’s therapist, Katherine Hertlein states, “I think that many times we expect somebody who is pathological to be obvious – and they’re not. There are many people who covertly have a lot of pathology that we don’t recognize because they do look helpful, they do look like they’re giving and kind. But really that isn’t how they’re oriented.” We, as a society, need to realize that the villains in real life are not always obvious. They don’t walk around in black hoodies acting suspiciously at all times; they act like your nice neighbor with a respectable job and happy family.